We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
it hurts more in the daytime
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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