Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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