What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
