just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
