i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
