I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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