How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
