Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
