would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
