Ambien. No doubt about it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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