I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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