My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
