first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
