Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Operation Purity has been aborted
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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