lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
