No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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