You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
