bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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