Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
