Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
