Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
