I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
