plz talk dirty to me
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
