WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
