Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am spending my child support on dildos
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
tell me about the eggs
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