You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
