why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
