While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
