My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
