We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
