Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I forget how to act sober
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