At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
