guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
