If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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