Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
