Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm both gender and math confused
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
