Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
