Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
