Im at strip club and am horny
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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