Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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