You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
