Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
