His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
