I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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