My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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