can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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