my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
