What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
