Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
