so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
